you made me forget my dreams

I've been thinking about what it is that really interests me in life. college will do that to a person. and I've come up with the only two things that really make me feel ok/not anxious/not bored/not sad. the two things i like the most are music and watching things. just seeing people and the world that they live in and watching them be completely oblivious to so much of what's going on around them just as I am myself. I was thinking about this and then I realized that was the reason I started taking pictures in the first place. to show the world just what it was they were missing. just how fucking beautiful it all is. I'm not sure why i stopped taking pictures. I guess life and all of the stuff that makes me bored/sad/anxious got in the way. that and talking to people who took their photography very seriously made it not fun anymore. i don't really care what my shutter speed is thanks, as long as it gets that tree over there i don't rightly give a fuck. the automatic setting on my camera is quite good enough.
in conclusion. i am an idiot who needs to get the camera back out and stop caring so much about whether or not what I'm doing is any good. I'm not Cartier-Bresson. i never will be. and neither will anyone else.